Moving onto better things
Yes, I’ve moved on!
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It hurts me,
knowing that I deserve so much more than what you’re giving,
but I keep choosing to stay.
It hurts me,
hearing your everyday lies,
but I keep on trusting you.
It hurts me,
to see that it’s impossible for you to love me,
but I keep on loving you.
It hurts me,
because I didn’t know how to fix myself,
but I keep trying to fix you.
You’ve said that you need me and asked if I could stay. I told myself I would stay until you get over with all your trouble… until I’ll see you rise again. I saw how broken you were and no one dare to ask if you were okay. I’m the only person you can count on every time you feel so down and needed someone to talk too.
I’ve been with you almost every night watch getting yourself drunk. Listen to all your heartaches and frustrations in life. You don’t want me to leave because you want me to hug you until you’ll fall asleep. I didn’t leave you because I’ve noticed that you were afraid to be alone. Maybe that’s the reason why you need me…maybe because I made you feel better in your miserable life or maybe I`m good for your ego.
I was at your side on your lowest point of your life. There was a time that you told me you love me and I’m the best thing that ever happened to your life. I was dumbfounded and you didn’t know how much it affects me.
The pain is killing me.
I’m not aware that I would love you at your worst. I never intend to stay this long. I`ve never thought that I would fall so deep. I have no plans on loving you so much because I know what kind of pain it’ll cause me. But I embraced all the pain and let myself love you…I let you break my heart over and over. I didn’t know that it would hurt me much.
I wanted to leave because the pain is killing me. I told you to be honest when it comes to your past. Yes you’ve been honest but there’s one thing you didn’t tell me and that cause me a big heartache.
So many questions that longing for an answer.
Why you didn’t tell me about her? Why you didn’t tell me that you’re still together? What did I do that made you lied many times? Am I not enough for you that’s why you still keeping her? Why you can’t love me the way I love you and the way you love her? Why her and not me? Why do you need me if you still love her? From the time that you were down did she even bothered to ask you then why it’s hard for you to let her go?
She was the reason of all your heartaches…she made you a fool…she made you feel stupid…she cheated on you! She only have you at your best not on your worst and yet you still love her? You ignored the girl who was willing to give you the whole world, you ignored me!
Love can make you feel stupid.
In spite of everything I found out yet I’m still willing to stay and willing to embrace all your flaws. Yes…I am hoping that when you get tired of loving her maybe that would be the time you’ll see my worth. And if does not happen I am still grateful that at least I tried to work things out between us.
I would not letting you go…for now! Because I’ll hold on to what you’ve said “Stay with me until I’ve learned to unloved her”. But I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.
“The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her” – Bob Marley
You were the person who ruined her life back then but now she will take a risk of entrusting her heart to you by giving you a second chance because you asked for it.
She’s a type of woman that will give many chances until you’ve realized her worth. She never get mad when she found out that you were flirting with a lot of women because she knew from the start that you’re a player. A player she thought that she could change.
She hides her sadness every time she’s with you and who aren’t afraid to say I Love You when she really feel it. She believe in everything you said to her not because she’s stupid but because she believes that there’s a good in you. She saw something in you that made her decide to stay even if it hurts her..
She’s aware of the pain you will give her the moment she start caring and loving you. As much as she wanted to avoid not to fall so deep she can’t help herself and forget the pain you brought to her.
She never imagined that she would meet a person from her past with a different personality, a different you. She just thought that maybe you are a changed person or she just never met you as a deep and emotional person back then.
What if she fought for you from the start? Will she still have you now or everything will be a so called relationSHIT?
The emptiness you’ve felt every time you were alone. All the pain you’ve been through from the past that always brought back to your memory like it was happened yesterday. She felt sorry for that… for not taking chances 7 years ago. Her heart is silently crying knowing that you fought your own battle without her on your side. For the broken hearts and for all the hard times.
The moment that she decided to accept you and realized how broken you are the more she’s willing to give herself and try again if second chance is worth it for a man like you…for a player like you!
They’ve said everything happens for a reason. So if it didn’t work for the first try maybe now is the time to make it up for all the chances that you both didn’t take.
DISCLAIMER: photo not mine, grabbed from google.
From the moment I saw you, I thought you were just an ordinary guy. Then you’ve got me with your looks but I try my very best to ignore everything about you. Days have passed… weeks…months… and I found myself looking at you from afar. You’re always there in everyday of my life…ignoring my presence, still I can’t help myself to longing for more.
The most awaited day has come, you smiled at me, makes me fall deeply. For some odd reason, we started to get along. You held my hands and never let go. I still can’t believe those things happened and the moment you’ve said ‘Stay with me and I will hold you forever’ I was so happy and thankful that I can able to say… dreams really do come true. The thought that you were with me, feels like I’ve reached the top of my dreams.
The saddest part… it was all my dreams and it will only happen every time I fall asleep. Wish I could stay in my dreams for my entire life so I can be able to touch you.
The truth is… you’re just a dream that never come true. A kind of star that even from a distance it’s hard to look at. I know I need to end what I truly felt from you because in the end… I will just hurt myself. From the moment I realized that I’m fallen for you, I’m aware for the consequences that I’ll have to face.
You were just one step ahead but still it’s hard to reach. I was at your back loving you secretly. I don’t have the guts to tell you all of these because I’m afraid that even from afar I will never get a chance to look at you.
So please… allow me to love you from a distance and to look at you while you’re passing by…even if you don’t look back… even if you don’t love me back.